Sunday, 24 July 2011

It's been a long, tiring night and my eyes burn from the lack of sleep. This is what happens when you sit and piss the night away listening to rock n roll with a friend and talk about a whole lot of crap. Nothing's really making sense right now, I should probably sleep but I'm sitting here going over the music I'm supposed to be giving to a friend. It's actually a CD with a whole bunch of stuff that he probably hasn't heard. Just for laughs, my friend and I decided to add a few Disney songs like Gaston, Les Poisons and Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid (just to see the expression on his face when this booms from the speakers of his car) Don't get me wrong Disney's awesome. Not the new Disney with all this Hannah Montannah crap that's ruining every ten year old's childhood but the old Aladdin, The Lion King, you-get-what-I-mean Disney. 
You know what really annoys the crap out of me? It's when people use ':)' specially where it is not required! I mean why the eff does every idiot on the planet feel the need to add a ':)' after every stupid sentence. The conversation on facebook, say for example, could go something like:
Idiot 1: Hey, haven't you put on a little weight? :)
Idiot 2: Maybe..but I'm still thinner than you :)
Idiot 1: You say that again and I'm gonna beat the crap out of you with a bat and feed your mutilated body to the fish :)
Idiot 2: Fuck off fat assed cow :)
I mean what I'm trying to say is..JUST LAY OFF THE DAMN SMILEY! It looks perverted to begin with and every moron uses it to mock someone or the other most of the times. Do you smile after every sentence that comes out of your good for nothing mouth?! I don't think so...if yes, then you have a problem. Otherwise, stop acting like an idiot and lay off the damn smiley and the world will be a much better place. 

Saturday, 23 July 2011

How to avoid being a complete douche

The first issue that must be dealt with here is that of idiotic and illiterate so called male rockers who think they’re better than everybody else just because they’re dudes. Serious, no joke. I’ve actually come across this thread once on such a social networking site where a whole bunch of these phony, ignorant jackasses showed off just how manly they are. The topic of discussion started by one of these was “Women can’t rock” or something worthless along those lines. Why do people have to make a complete fool of themselves over something they obviously don’t know jack shit about? Oh yeah, I forget that’s what all those female rjs and vjs do for a living; wearing a Nirvana t shirt and having an eye brow piercing qualifies you to discuss and actually give your opinion on rock music.  But wait first we must deal with the men. If only I could find that thread and quote some of the awesome gems that were posted by some of these’d be a downright riot! Seriously, it would make me laugh like a hyena right about now. If you’re a guy and if you’re a douche, you’re also probably ignorant to the significant impact women have had on rock music. So educate yourself first you jackass before you call yourself a maggot. 

From the top of my head, I can think of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Grace Slick (of Jefferson Airplane), Melissa Ethridge, The Donnas, the girls of Heart, Janis Joplin, Sass Jordan, Alannah Myles, Morisette, Joan Baez (who can forget the awesome vibrato?), Tarja (of former Nightwish), Cindy Lauper – those are some women who affected rock music in a big way. Then there are others who weren’t as iconic (or maybe they were in Sao Paolo or something who knows) but bloody awesome just the same: Dolores (of The Cranberries), Christina Scabbai (of Lacuna Coil), Sharon Adel (of Within Temptation [Sharon’s very special to me]), Gwen Steffani (of No Doubt. I bloody hell hate the sell out she’s become now. I talk about her very early days with ‘Doubt when she was platinum blonde sporting Adidas track suits and a bindi. She probably still is a platinum blonde for all I know), Amy Lee (yeah sod off. The woman can sing her head off better than you), Courtney Love (of Hole. Yeah so she may have murdered Cobain but she affected a lot of idiotic, phony people who thought she could sing. Still, some of Hole’s stuff has some good lyrics and that’s no surprise since it was rumoured that Cobain wrote and helped her with the music), Sheryl name a few. Even A Perfect Circle had a female bassist and Gilby Clarke of GNR played bass with possibly the best band on the planet: Heart. There are numerous such examples which these douche bags are ignorant of. Anyway, who the fuck cares who influenced rock music more anyway?! It’s music and it’s awesome so shut the fuck up moron and just enjoy it or commit suicide or whatever. 

Anyway, in recent times, I’ve found myself to be obsessed with Paramore and The Pretty Reckless (who knew a dumb blonde on Gossip Girl could be this talented?) Both bands are incredible and both are totally underrated. Why don’t they get more airtime on TV rather than stupid shit like Ciarra, Akon, 50 cent? Wait, are these people still around? I wouldn’t know honestly and I don’t really give a shit. But you get my drift.  It is sad to see the state of affairs of music these days thanks to these yo chums. Still, there is still some hope in Duffy, Amy Winehouse (if only she didn’t give a wibe of a hooker and wasn’t a junkie always high on God knows what) and Adele. 

Still, next time you decide to claim you’re all high and mighty and that the soul of Kurt Cobain or Jimmy Hendrix speaks to you, go and research and educate yourself before you make a total and complete fool of yourself. Or better yet, take a peek from that curtain of long, greasy hair you’re sporting and download some of these bands and check em out. By the way, I’m no feminist and I’m not a member of any women’s liberation front crap. Chicks are trouble and they ruin everything. I bet there are a million awesome bands that disbanded due to one thing: girls. So little advice for underground bands out there: Chicks ruin everything.  So don’t get involved with chicks, just listen to girl bands. Those are two totally different things you moron so get it right before she has you listening to Avril Lavigne and calling that rock n roll. 

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

I’m sick and tired of reading up about politics and how messed up everything is in the world and okay honestly right now I’m on hold with PTCL and I got a woman operator which is just bullshit because she doesn’t know a damn thing! None of them know what the hell they’re doing anyway. This company is made up of monkey pissers who just piss the night away and end up calling themselves some sort of telecom internet providers. If you can’t bloody well provide anyone with what you claim to DO in the first place then call yourselves what you really are (MONKEY PISSERS INC) instead of PTCL! I just gave her a lot of bs in English (now she thinks I’m important) and she tried to respond in her cheap ass Liyari accent. Oh shut up. Yes I think I’m better than people in Liyari, you got a sad ass problem with that? Well shut the fuck up cause no one wants your stupid politically correct opinion anyway. And now I’ve officially derailed from the purpose of this blog...Oh yeah, so yeah yes the world’s screwed, deal with it, shut the fuck up and stop posting other people’s articles on your twitter, facebook, tumbler, google +, etc cause it doesn’t make you seem important or cool – just makes me wish you were dead.

Did I mention I’m gonna be writing about music?